Often, I've seen people claim they want a God-fearing partner. But I have realised many don't even know what that means when you look at them and the kind of partner they choose. People hide their worldly desire and lust under "God-fearing" to appear decent. But the real question is, what is a God-fearing relationship?
There can be no God-fearing relationship without God at the helm. To build a God-fearing relationship, you must understand it through God's relationship with man. A husband should love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. (Eph 5:25). Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church and the saviour of the body. (Eph 5:22–23)
The love a man has for his wife must be thorough and sacrificial. By choosing her, you've chosen to love her with your life and be willing to sacrifice it. This is why you can't afford to screw up your vetting process. You must be intentional about whom you're committing your life to and whom you are laying it down for. Christ laid down his life, and we honour and follow him in return.
You don't lay down your life for someone who doesn't listen to you or follow your leadership. Don't outsource your leadership or masculinity to your woman; otherwise, you lose your place. As a woman, do your due diligence in choosing a partner.
"Till death" is a long time to commit to nonsense.
You should choose a man who loves you unconditionally, whose judgment you can trust, and who you believe can lead your home and raise good kids. Once you have found such a person, you should submit to his leadership. He is already loving you with his life. 1 John 4:1 says that we love God because He first loved us. If you're not interested in a man, that's okay. But if a man comes to you with love and you choose him, reciprocate that love and let go of any worldly sense of entitlement and greed that is devoid of love.
This is where I'll talk about "They were both naked and not ashamed."
I have often articulated the notion that genuine affection for someone is contingent upon a deep understanding of their character. When the Bible recounts "Adam knew Eve," it alludes to the concept of intimacy. Your decisions and actions profoundly affect your partner as they serve as an extension of yourself. What brings joy to your partner should elicit a similar sentiment in you, and what causes them pain should similarly affect you due to the profound influence of intimacy. Here, I am not exclusively referring to physical intimacy. Your partner should ideally serve as your most ardent supporter. While the external world can often be unwelcoming, your home should constitute a sanctuary of tranquillity. Paul's writing to the Corinthian Church taught us that :
love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud (MEN), does not dishonour others, is not self-seeking (WOMEN), is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs (WOMEN), does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, always protects (MEN), always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails (for those who say love is not enough).
Remember to identify areas where you need improvement and work on them. In the context of sexual relations, it's important to uphold your vows. According to 1 Corinthians 7:4, both the husband and the wife have equal authority over each other's bodies. Don't withhold your partner's marital rights based on worldly standards. Husbands should treat their wives with kindness and consideration, acknowledging their vulnerability, while wives should honour their husbands with respect, purity of heart, godly values, and inner beauty, as Sarah did, rather than focusing solely on external appearances. Some of you may be unapproachable and intimidating to your partners. Your partner should find comfort in you, as Jesus said in Matthew 11:28, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." You should be a source of rest and safety for your partner.
Above all, consider your prayer life and why it is also important to marry someone of your faith.
Husbands, it is important to live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Pet. 3). It is crucial to treat each other with love and godly kindness, as it directly impacts your prayer life. Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. Remember, the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous person avails much.
"You cannot achieve righteousness without loving your wife" (James 5:16). It is crucial to hold each other accountable and acknowledge your mistakes, as failing to do so can invite negativity into your home. Unaccountability is far from endearing. According to 1 John 4:20, if someone claims to love God but harbours hatred towards their brother, they are being dishonest. How can they claim to love a God they have not seen when they fail to love their brother whom they have seen? This sentiment is even more pertinent when it comes to loving your wife, who shares in the grace of God. The evidence of your love for God is demonstrated through how you treat others, and this begins with your closest relationships. If you cannot exhibit love and accountability in a relationship, doing so in a marriage becomes an even greater challenge.
You will marry once and marry right in Jesus' name. If you've been hurt before, may you find a better one? In the end, you accept the love you think you deserve.
Happy Yuletide Season! See you in the coming year, and thanks for reading and giving me your constructive feedback! Shalom!
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